


Weird South Park Future AU

by Nimble_Gosling88



Series: My Weird South Park AU [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Anything Else Is Just Weird DNA Gathering, Bottom Craig Tucker, Character Bashing, Crenny’s Not A Thing, Depression, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fan Children, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Matchmaking (Sorta), Mental Health Issues, More In The Sequel, Multi, My First South Park Fic, My New Kid’s Name Is Riley, One Person Is Straight, Original Character(s), Other, Out of Character, POV Changes, Past Kidnapping, Past Relationship(s), Pranks, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Insert, Some Video Game Referances, Sometimes Though, Sort of genderbending, The Chapter Titles Are Song Names, The Ship Tags Above Are The Characters Who Got Married, Top Tweek Tweak, Weird Plot Shit, comeuppance, one sided crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2020-07-29 07:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 19,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20078209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nimble_Gosling88/pseuds/Nimble_Gosling88
Summary: Claire "Crenny" Broflovski is just your weird elementary school girl. She's Asian, has a monotone voice, a HUGE pervert; the list goes on!She also just so happens to be pretty intelligent for her age..Join her on a journey find who the hell her REAL parents are. Also bullshit shenanigans by her friends and family.This was my first fanfiction ever.Warnings:Gay shipsWeird plot twistsOOC charactersGenderbend at some partsSort of m-pregMY SOUTH PARK NEW KIDMental disordersDepression in later chaptersCARTMANSorta of self insert?SOUTH PARKIf you see any ship names, DON'T JUST ASSUME THAT SHIP WILL BE IN THIS.Disclaimer: South Park does not belong to me. It belongs to Matt & Trey.ALSO CRENNY WILL NOT BE A THING HERE!





	1. Lollipop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Claire “Crenny” Broflovski. She’s adopted and raised by Kyle Broflovski since she was 2 years old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I decided to put my weird South Park Gen 2 AU here. Please don’t judge me. If I don’t tag something, it’s probably because I’m kinda lazy...

Date: 9/9

Hi, my name is Claire Broflovski! Though I prefer to be called Crenny...

I don't remember much about my childhood. I just remember my biological mother leaving me in South Park when I was 2 and being found by my dad Kyle later.

Anyway, I live with him and his husband Eric. (I call him Cartman even though he's technically a Broflovski...) I also have a little brother named Abraham. Everyone just calls him Kyman. He looks like Cartman but he has dad's hair or as Cartman calls it, the jewfro. He has both Cartman's and dad's intellect, which sort of scares dad.

I, on the other hand, don't look like my parents. I'm Asian (Dad told me that I'm actually Vietnamese so that explains it...), had blonde hair (that I dyed to black with a blue streak in the back), have a somewhat monotone voice which has some emotion in it, and I have blue eyes that looked purple sometimes.

Yeah, I'm not related to the Broflovski's by blood but Kyle raised me ever since he found me and legally adopted me so I'm part of the family.

\------------------------------------------------------

I woke up today thanks to my alarm clock. After I turned it off, I reach for my glasses and put them on. I get up from my bed to go open up my closet.

I get out a black turtleneck sweater, my favorite pink parka and a pair of blue sweatpants from the closet.

I put them on and then I go to my dresser and found my highlighter orange chullo with yellow puffballs and put it on my head.

\------------------------------------------------------

As I run down the stairs, I see Kyman running his tubby ass down the stairs.

"Ey, what's the big idea!?", he screamed at me.

"YO MIKA!", I shout back. I hear Cartman groaning from the living room. 

I ignored him.

🎶"I SAID SUCKING TOO HARD ON YOUR LOLLIPOP, OH! LOVE GONNA GET YOU DOWN!"🎶, Kyman sings loudly.

🎶"I SAID SUCKING TOO HARD ON YOUR LOLLIPOP, OH! LOVE'S GONNA GET YOU DOWN!"🎶, I sing back.

🎶"SUCKING TOO HARD ON YOUR LOLLIPOP, OH! LOVE'S GONNA GET YOU DOWN! SUCKING TOO HARD ON YOUR LOLLIPOP, OH! LOVE'S GONNA GET YOU DOWN! SAY, LOVE, SAY LOVE! OH, LOVE'S GONNA GET YOU DOWN! SAY, LOVE, SAY LOVE! OH, LOVE'S GONNA GET YOU DOWN!"🎶, Kyman and I both sing together as loud as our tiny lungs will allow us as we make our descent to the kitchen.

Dad looked at us both from the stove top and smiled while shaking his head.

"Alright, you two.", he said as he looked down at us. "Eat your breakfast first, then you two can sing."

"Ok, dad!", we both said at the same time.

We both sat down at the table and started eating our breakfast.

\------------------------------------------------------

After we finished our breakfast we got our backpacks and I walked Kyman to kindergarten.

"Are you gonna pick meh up?", Kyman asked.

I snorted. "Of course I am, Abe. What do you take me for? My biological mother?"

Kyman didn't answer.

\------------------------------------------------------

We arrived at South Park Kindergarten and I said goodbye to Kyman.

I go towards South Park Elementary with a pep in my step.

Why?

I've been homeschooled from kindergarten to 3rd grade by my dad. I was in preschool but I got pulled out because my preschool teacher was prejudiced towards mute kids. Oh yeah, I've been mute since I was 2 and started talking when I was 5 and my dad decided to let me go to school!

It's also because today is my first day in South Park Elementary's 4th Grade Class and I'm super excited because my super best friend is also starting 4th grade with me!

Speaking of her...

"CREEEEEEEEEEK!!!", I shout from the top of my tiny lungs.

She just turned around and looked at me.

Elly or Creek as she prefers to be called had a beat up blue chullo resting on her rats' nest of black hair. She was wearing a bright red oversized sweater that said, 'I'm not gay but my boyfriend is...' and a pair of black shorts.

I looked down on her feet. As usual, she had no shoes on. 

"Hi, Crenny!", she said in her natural monotone voice as her blue eyes lit up when she saw me. She was pale, paler than, (her words not mine) hell's whitest ghost. 

Creek and I met in preschool. We became friends when I was 5 and we were and still are inseparable. I hugged her and felt that she was as skinny as a twig.

'Huh...', I thought, 'I really need to get her to eat more...'

I step back for a bit and saw that she was dirty too. 'And she also needs a shower...'

"Crenny? Earth to Crenny!", I snapped out of my reverie.

"Creek, you need to eat.", I said.

"Anything else, mom?", she asked sarcastically.

"You also need a shower.", I replied.

Creek just smiled at me and told me as we walked to class, "I'll come over if that makes you feel better."

I smiled back and replied, "Yeah, it would."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that cluster frick...


	2. Take A Slice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Elly Creek Tweak, the most monotone kid in all of South Park. She’s also homeless. Why? No one knows (exempt one person) why she is homeless.
> 
> She’s also Claire’s best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I got 16 hits and 2 kudo for the first chapter of this cluster so why not?

"Well, that's settled! I'll come over to your house after school!", Creek replied.

"I have to pick Kyman up after school though," I stated.

"I'll come with you then! Now come on, our class is starting!", she shouted.

"Since when did you care about class? You've been skipping class since preschool", I questioned as I raised my eyebrow.

"I always care about class, Crenny! What are you talking about?", she replied.

I raised an eyebrow. Creek and I both know that was a filthy lie.

Then I came to a realization.

"It's because Bunny is in our class, isn't it?"

Jackie "Bunny" McCormick was one of the richest kids in South Park along with the Tyde Twins. She is also starting the 4th grade with us.

A fact that I know for certain? 

Bunny and Creek have a crush on each other. HUGE ONES.

Creek looked down so that I couldn't see her face.

(FYI, I could totally see that it was red but I didn't say anything about it.)

"I have no idea what your t...t-talking about, Crenny."

I replied with a smirk, "Ok, have it your way then."

We walked to class talking about what we were going to do after school.

\------------------------------------------------------

[TIME SKIP CUZ I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ABOUT SCHOOL]

After school, I went to the kindergarten hallway with Creek awkwardly following me from behind. 

We were waiting for a while until I heard my brother's voice that sounded similar to Cartman's.

"Crenny! You're late!", he complained as his fat ass jiggled towards us.

"You're late.", Creek replied with enough monotone to knock the color out of a Lisa Frank unicorn.

"Aww, you brought the homeless kid?" 

"It's better than being a fat Jewish kid with a jewfro."

"I'M NOT FAT! I'M JUST BIG BONED!!!"

"I wonder where you got that from."

"Why you!", Kyman yelled out while clutching his fists.

Creek just smirked and said, "Try to punch me, you big fat sausage candle."

"Ey!"

I just watched them argue for a bit. They weren't going to stop anytime soon so I just picked them both up as they argued.

\------------------------------------------------------

By the time they finished arguing, we were already at my house.

"Okay, you two, we're here."

"Finally, it feels like the walk was longer because of fatso here."

"Ey! At least my parents didn't leave me!"

"Do I care?"

We were silent for a few minutes.

\------------------------------------------------------

We were up in my room when I asked Creek, "By the way, who are your parents?"

"Why should I tell you?"

I thought for a while before answering, "You know who your real parents are at least."

Creek sighed and replied, "Touche. Alright fine. Go to the green house near the coffee shop."

"Okay! Let's go then!", I shouted.

Kyman looked at me with bright eyes and asked me, "Can I come too?"

"Sure!"

\------------------------------------------------------

Kyman and I were walking to the green house Creek told us to go to with Creek following behind us awkwardly.

I knocked on the door. It opened to reveal...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof cliffhanger. Do you hate me? Probably.


	3. Little Lion Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Elly along with Claire's little brother meet the person behind the door. Who is it? (Spoiler: It's Tweek.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, somehow I got 81 hits in total. So I hope this makes up for the cliffhanger.

Mr. Tweak?

Yup, the door opened to reveal the twitchy Mr. Tweak.

The Tweaks are nice people but they seem really sad most of the time and when they were asked why they were so sad, they tell people that they don't understand why they're so sad.

"G...GAH! Who are you?!", he asked me.

Huh. He reminds me of Creek in a weird way so I respond to him in my normal tone (which is a slight monotone).

"I'm Claire Broflovski and the fat kid here is my brother Abraham."

Ignoring my brother's glare, I smile at the twitching adult and asked,

"Is it okay if I asked you 2 questions?"

"NGH...! What are they?

I look back at Creek. Huh, they look kind of similar...

Also, Creek's chullo has been wriggling the whole time. Has that always happened and I didn't know? Who knows...

I turn back to Mr. Tweak.

"Did you have any kids?"

Mr. Tweak looked surprised.

"What? GAH! I CAN'T HANDLE KIDS!"

Huh. That's weird; if the Tweaks didn't have a kid, why does Mr. Tweak remind me so much of Creek?

"Okay, did anyone tell you that someone in your life has died?"

"No? I don't think so?"

A normal person would think that he was lying.

An intelligent person, however, knows better than that.

I am that intelligent person.

Mr. Tweak snapped me back into reality.

"Why are you, a...a-asking these questions anyway?"

"Oh, my friend told me that I can find out who her parents are if I went to the green house that's all."

I didn't need to look at Creek to know that she's panicking so I say,

"Anyway, I have to be going home now. Bye, Mr. Tweak!"

Before he could say another word, I was running over to Creek while holding Kyman's tiny fat hand.

"COME ON! LET'S GO, CREEK!"

\------------------------------------------------------

(Tweek's Point Of View)

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!?

As I was freaking out, Craig came downstairs.

"What's wrong babe?" Craig came over and patted my head, instantly calming my nerves a little.

"GAH! These kids came over a-and asked me if we have kids!"

"Who asked you that?"

"Uh, they said they were the Broflovski kids."

"Okay, did they ask anything else?"

"They asked if someone in our life has died, I think?"

"We're going to go interrogate them tomorrow morning, ok honey?", he patted my head again. He usually just puts his chullo on it but we lost it 9 years ago, along with my favorite sweater. Craig gave it to me, as our 1-year anniversary gift.

"O-okay..."

(Little did they know that they wouldn't be able to interrogate Crenny until a lot later in this story.)

\------------------------------------------------------

(BACK TO CRENNY! WHICH IS NOT A THING!)

Creek as I predicted, was panicking so when I was in my room, I kicked Kyman out of there, sat beside her and began to try to calm her down.

Creek told me that a good way to help with panic attacks is to say a math problem but first I have to get Creek to breathe.

"Ok, breathe in for 4 seconds."

I heard a noise of breathing in from the body beside me.

"Hold that breath for 7 seconds."

I saw Creek holding her breath.

"Let that breath out for 8 seconds."

She released that breath.

We repeated that same pattern for a while until I randomly asked,

"What's the square root of 69?"

"It's pi times gay to the power of rainbows."

I started laughing my ass off. After 5 minutes of Creek trying to calm me down, I stop laughing.

"No, that's not the answer."

"What's the answer then?"

"It has a decimal." The answer is actually 8.30662386292 but no way was I telling Creek that.

"Okay.", her monotone still killing Lisa Frank unicorns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some help writing Tweek & Craig from a good friend of mine. She doesn't have an Ao3 but she does have a Quotev and a Wattpad.
> 
> Quotev: https://www.quotev.com/hopefulbunnieZ
> 
> Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/hopefulbunnieZ


	4. Alien Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a normal day in South Park Elementary. How is this going to turn out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I got 6 more hits so here's the 4th chapter. In this chapter, you learn more about the characters in this book and all...

Date: 9/10

I was walking to school, thinking about the incident that happened yesterday.

I sighed. Yesterday, after calming Creek down, I put on my headphones and listened to my music playlist on shuffle.

The song that came up was 'Little Lion Man' by Mumford & Sons.

It was very accurate for my state of mind because I thought the whole incident was my fault.

As soon as Creek heard the chorus (I don't know how she must have super hearing or something), she smacked me on the back of my head and told me that it wasn't my fault.

I snap back to reality when I saw Creek came running from the direction of the school, laughing like a psychopath. That is never a good sign.

Oh, right. I should probably tell you all the 'roles' of all the students here. (At least, the ones I know of...)

I'm the nerd of the school but unlike the stereotypical nerd, I don't get bullied. If I did, Creek, my internet friends, my cousin, and my dad will probably murder them. Oh, by the way, my dad's a lawyer and Cartman's a chemist.

I already told you Bunny's role. But I didn't tell you about her parents. Dr. McCormick is the local doctor after the last one finally got fired and his husband Leo is a baker.

I also told you that the Tyde twins are also the richest kids in South Park but they are more than just that. Tyde A aka Tyler is the quote-unquote football star (By football, I mean the American football...). Tyde B aka Max is the official/unofficial manager of the football team. The twins' parents Token and Clyde are an accountant and a writer respectively.

I seriously recommend Clyde Black's books, they're awesome!

Fiona "Scottie" Malkinson is the child of Scott Malkinson and his wife Annie who was one of Butters' Bottom Bitches from the Peppermint Hippo. Her mom is a marine who's overseas at the moment and her dad's a police officer in Denver. The DPD call him Captain Diabetes as a joke. Dad said he actually was Captain Diabetes when they were kids.

Tobias "Jim-Tim" Valmer is technically an internet friend but is the only one to live in South Park. He's homeschooled because his parents are both crippled in some way and he has scoliosis. His dad is a comedian and his other dad works at home.

Conner "Fike" Broflovski is my cousin and one of the resident goth kids. He's a 3rd grader. Uncle Ike is a full-time hockey player and Uncle Firkle is the manager of the Hot Topic here in South Park. Fike and I get discounts just for being related to him.

Riley "Staley" Marsh-Allister (he uses his mom's last name more) is also a goth kid. Well, more like a pastel goth. His dad is in rehab for alcohol abuse while his mom works at Freeman's Tacos and is a freelance therapist. Mr. Allister says that working at Freeman's Tacos pays really well. Staley is also in the 3rd grade.

Alice "Bendy" Stevens is the queen bee of the school. Ms. Stevens is a teacher at South Park Kindergarten and her ex-wife Wendy is a female rights activist. (By the way, I kinda have a crush on Bendy even though she has a new boyfriend every week..)

Her younger stepsister Kora "Becole" Daniels is the student council president. By the way, Ms. Stevens married Ms. Daniels. Ms. Daniels is also a teacher but she teaches at the preschool.

Phillip "Dip" Thorn is the edge lord of the school. His parents are the king and queen of Hell. I can say that he is an edgy asshole but he can be nice to a few people. I just so happen to be one of the people that he's nice too.

Bonnie "Wendi" Testaburger is the other stepsister of Bendy and she's also a popular girl. They get along really well for step-siblings. Her mother Heidi is a nutritionist. I also happen to dislike her. Why? Because she bullied Fike for 2 months.

Lilith "Revin" Stoley doesn't go to South Park Elementary. She actually goes to South Park Preschool. I don't really know her too well but I know that she's Creek's cousin, her mother works as a makeup artist and her father works at NASA.

Creek is the prankster of the school. I'm not kidding, she is the prankster.

One time, she put a shark in the school's swimming pool. No one really knows how she turned our chlorine-filled swimming pool into a saltwater pool but it was the best goddamn thing that everyone had seen.

Another time, she put bees in my mailbox. She didn't know that I was (and still am...) allergic to bees at the time. That day I ended up in the hospital. Dad was really worried that day. I felt seriously bad for worrying him.

Creek also put cocaine all over the cafeteria floor; everyone (except for Jim-Tim and I cause we were homeschooled) got so high, put a cow in Principal PC's office, put bees on Mr. Mackey's tie while he was asleep, and she did even more than that.

Just then, I heard an explosion from the cafeteria.

I heard Creek from right next to me shout, "MY PRANK!"

I looked in the direction of the noise and saw...

Bunny? Yep, I wasn't delusional. I saw Bunny McCormick with an exploded pie in her hands.

Oh dear, this is going to be ugly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I do a good job? Idk, let me know, please.


	5. Desperate Measures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the girl get the girl? Find out in this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 137 hits...
> 
> That's a whole lot of hits...
> 
> What did I do to deserve this? Idk but thanks.

[LUNCH TIME]

Creek had been avoiding Bunny all day.

Why? Because Bunny accidentally set off Creek's prank for the alumni meeting that's in 3 days.

I sighed. Creek is pretty laid back but when you mess with her pranks, she becomes extremely petty.

As I was thinking about that, I heard someone calling my name.

I turned around and I saw Bunny.

"You're Creek's friend, Crenny right?", she asked, shyly.

"Yeah, that's me. Why do you ask, Bunny?"

"I need some...help with something."

"What do you need help with?"

She blushed. I waited for her to tell me what she needed help with patiently even though I had a feeling that I already know what she wanted to ask me.

Finally, she said, "IwantCreektonoticeme!"

If I were a dumb person I would've asked her what she just said. Luckily, I am not.

"Well, if you wanted Creek to notice you before, she won't now."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, Creek kinda hates you because you set off her prank."

She looked panicked.

"Oh no! What do I do?!"

I thought about it for a while.

Do I play matchmaker or should I I just leave it alone?

It was pretty obvious that Bunny and Creek like each other.

Bunny made it pretty obvious by staring at Creek almost every day and looking away when I tell Creek that someone is looking at her. (I'm pretty sure I saw a blush.)

Creek might've been a lot trickier if we weren't friends. She's a twitchy monotone asshole but she has emotions too as nonexistent as they are.

I decided to play matchmaker because I was tired of them silently pining for each other.

"Do the one thing no one has managed to do to Creek."

I know that Bunny's smart enough to figure out what I was talking about.

"Are you suggesting that I prank Creek?", she asked in surprise.

No one has ever tried to prank Creek successfully. The last time someone tried to prank her, they ended up in the hospital.

"Yeah, that's what I'm suggesting.", I replied.

"I don't want Creek to get hurt or for her to hate me..."

"If you're that worried about it, just do something that won't harm her and she'll probably be too busy laughing to really hate you."

"I guess so...", she said.

She looked deep in thought for a moment and then asked, "How about I put toothpaste on PC Principal's chair?"

I didn't even think about my answer.

"Creek already did that."

"What?! Then what about I, uh, could, put weed in the vents?"

"Creek did that a week after the cocaine floor prank."

"How about I put doves into someone's locker?"

"Creek did that to Tyde A after he accidentally threw a football at my head."

That is how our brainstorming session went, Bunny suggesting pranks that she could do and me shutting them down because Creek already did them.

\------------------------------------------------------

After a while, Bunny asked me, "All the pranks I suggested have already been done! What do I do now, Crenny?!"

"That's simple.", I replied. "Do the other thing that no one has managed to do."

Bunny looked shocked.

"You want to mess with her coffee?!"

No one messed with Creek's coffee. The first and last time that someone did, he moved all the way to North Park. (No one really wants to know what Creek did to that guy exactly but it's probably extremely traumatizing.)

"Yeah, pretty much.", I replied.

Bunny was silent. She was also bumping her knuckles together. (I'm pretty sure that's a nervous habit she got from Mr. Leo.)

I carefully asked her, "How about putting something harmless in her coffee?"

She thought about my suggestion for a while until she said to me, "My dad has laughing powder."

I knew which one of her dads has laughing powder...

Dr. McCormick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Kenny sort of got officially introduced here and stuff...
> 
> Did you enjoy this chapter? Probably, probably not. Who really knows at this point?


	6. Walking The Dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prank happens and we learn more about our main girl, Crenny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 176 hits... (Technically 177 but that was me so it doesn't count...)
> 
> Damn...
> 
> Thank you...

Date: 9/11 (Yes, there is a 9/11 assembly. Everyone except Creek went...)

It took a long time but I got Creek to let Bunny make her coffee for her. (I feel like that was too easy but I didn't want to make a mountain out of a molehill so I didn't say anything...)

I waited for Bunny at my locker with Creek.

\------------------------------------------------------

After a while, Bunny appeared.

"Hi, Creek! Hi, Crenny!", she greeted.

Creek asked me, confused, "Since when were you two, friends?"

I answered, "Yesterday, I believe."

Bunny nodded her head in agreement. Creek just shrugged and asked for her coffee.

Bunny gave it to her and Creek chugged it down.

\------------------------------------------------------

After that, Creek started laughing.

While Creek was laughing, I snuck off to the school library.

\------------------------------------------------------

I may not be blood-related to my dad but I get mad as easily as he does.

Everyone in South Park knows not to piss me off.

One time, some of the kids from North Park decided that it was a good idea to mess with the goth kids from South Park. Let's just say that they felt threatened enough to move to West Park.

But I digress, the school library became my second home when my parents went away on business. I haven't been there in a while after Kyman was born.

The library's books were in disorder so I rearranged them all.

\------------------------------------------------------

[AFTER SCHOOL]

I said goodbye to Creek and Bunny but they were too busy holding hands to notice me.

I picked Kyman up from kindergarten and walked home.

As I was walking home, I saw the Tweaks at my front door.

"Who the fuck are they?", Kyman asked me.

"Don't be a jackass, it's the Tweaks."

"Oh, it's the depressed couple of South Park."

I hit him on the back of the head.

"Just be nice!"

"Fine..."

"Hi, Mr. and Mr. Tweak! How are you?", I greeted.

They turned around and saw me.

"Oh, you're here. Tweek and I need to ask you a few questions.", the monotone Mr. Tweak said.

I shoo Kyman to his room and turn to the Tweaks.

"Okay, you can interrogate me."

I opened the door to my house and let them in.

\------------------------------------------------------

We were sitting in my living room when I said, "Alright, ask me anything you want."

They looked at each for a while until the twitchy Mr. Tweak asked me, "Do you know who your friend's parents are?"

"No, I don't. She never talks about her parents at all."

They asked me questions and I answered them to my best ability until they left for their house.

\------------------------------------------------------

After telling Kyman a bedtime story, I go to my room.

I laid down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling.

_"I wonder what tomorrow will bring me?"_, I thought as I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will the next chapter bring for Crenny? Who knows? (I do but shush)


	7. Dead Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a little more about Claire. (& her cousin) in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 193 hits. Wow. Enjoy this short chapter, I guess?

Date: 9/12

When I opened my locker today, I expected another prank from Creek.

I didn't expect a dead rose in my locker. It also had a note stuck to it.

The note said, **_Be happy, you conformist. - Not Fike_**

"Thanks, Fike, but you didn't have to...", I said to my cousin hiding at the side of the lockers and went off to my class.

I didn't have to look at my cousin to know that he was embarrassed.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Fike's Point Of View)

_'I know I didn't have to but I wanted to. __Cren__, you get weird around this day...'_, I thought.

[TWO YEARS AGO]

_I was fighting a vamp kid. _ _Crenny_ _ was the referee. The kid had pulled out a knife and would have stabbed me with it if _ _Crenny_ _ didn't push me out of the way. The vamp kid stabbed _ _Crenny_ _ in the shoulder and would've stabbed her even more if her friend Creek wasn't there and didn't forcibly take the knife from that vamp kid. _

_She was rushed to Dr. McCormick's clinic. Boy, did he look worried but he was calm while he was stitching up _ _Crenny's_ _ shoulder._

[END FLASHBACK]

Crenny has a scar on her shoulder from that incident.

I stopped blaming myself when my parents, uncle Kyle and Crenny told me that it wasn't my fault. (I don't care for Uncle Cartman's opinion but then again no one really does.)

\------------------------------------------------------

[BACK TO CRENNY WHICH IS STILL NOT A THING]

I never really forgot about the time I saved my cousin from dying at the hands of a vamp kid.

It scared me when the kid took out a knife. I was mostly scared because I kind of have a problem with people leaving me in any form. I can't be alone. When I'm alone, I end up panicking.

Not a lot of people know about it. Creek, my internet friends, Fike, my dad, Kyman, Mr. Allister and Dr. McCormick are the only ones to know about it. Yeah, Cartman doesn't even know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this was a short chapter...


	8. Choke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we finally get a chapter with Creek's point of view! How will this turn out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 215 hits?! Damn, you peeps must really be curious about this fic...

(Creek’s Point Of View)

Today’s been a good day; I kicked some hobos out of my box for not paying their rent, got a cookie from Mr. Allister, and got my daily pranks set up. I’m a bit salty at the fact Crenny and Bunny got me, but I’ll let them slide since Crenny is basically my sibling, and I already got Bunny back, I put her mom’s baby powder in her and Mr. Leo’s hair dryers. Like mother like daughter.

I decided to leave a small note on Crenny’s desk since it’s been a few years since that vamp kid I scared to North Park stabbed her, I wish I stopped him before he got her. I put a neon orange poof ball that I stole on the desk with the note, hope she likes it.

I walked down the halls, planning my prank for the big alumni meeting tomorrow night. That’s right, South Park Elementary is holding their annual alumni meeting, and 90% of the town will be there. That means it will be the biggest prank since Crenny’s parents, Dr. McCormick, and Stan tricked my mom into going to Peru.

Yes, you heard me right, my mom, is Craig “No Fucks” Tucker, well, Craig “No Fucks” Tweak now. I won’t go into details, I hate talking about them, but I guess background info is necessary. Crenny doesn’t know any of this yet, only me and my godfather, Mr. Allister, do. 

I was born from a mishap featuring private parts with my parents, and after my mom, Craig, was pregnant, my dad, Tweek, refused to let him have an abortion, so 9 months later I come into this fucked up excuse of a town.

Now then the question you might be asking is, why don’t you live with them, and why can’t they remember you? That's coming up next, it happened when I was 4.

Eric Cartman decided to kidnap me on my way home from preschool. He picked me up and threw me into Starks Pond. I was saved by Mr. Allister. We then went back to my house, to see Cartman telling my parents I had been murdered by some passing terrorists on their way to Denver.

I saw my parents drink so much they blacked out in the kitchen, and that sucks to watch as a 4-year-old kid. Mr. Allister then took me to his house, where I got punched by Stan to protect Mr. Allister since he saved my life after all. I have a slight dent in my cheek from it, but it’s not noticeable.

I just wish I wore more than my dad’s sweater and my mom’s chullo hat to school, because the next morning, I went home, and they didn’t even recognize me. It crushed me, so I ran away without saying anything. I stole a large box from the UStoreIt and moved it next to the train tracks. I’ve lived there ever since.

Crenny knows that I have parents (thanks to my big fucking mouth saying that Mr. Allister's my godfather.) but she doesn’t know that I wasn't born homeless, I’d like to keep it that way for a while.

It’s not that bad honestly! It’s protected by a sign, and I can rent it to drug dealing hobos, and then sell the drugs to others, like my grandparents, before they were arrested. The coffee was ok at best, the drugs didn’t even help! What a couple of assholes right? Ugh...

Anyways, upon setting up Crenny’s 'sorry I let you get stabbed' letter, I sat in my seat, and awaited class to start. I watched Crenny open the letter and gave me a 'really?' look. I just give her my stare of no fucks, my girlfriend also looks at me, but she has a grin on her face. 

Yes I said girlfriend, I’m dating Bunny McCormick, and it could be worse, at least I’m part of South Parks gay couple, unlike 99% of parents here, like yikes. 

Moving on, about 10 minutes into the old ass Mr. Garrison’s lecture, I got bored. So I raised my hand and decided to get detention. 

“What, Elly?” Too easy. I flipped him off, turning his old face redder than my cousin Revin’s hair. He shouted at me, “Elly Tweak! Detention! Get out of my classroom!”. I give him a shrug and my Lisa Frank murdering monotone, “Ok.” and left to start my pranks. 

[AFTER SCHOOL] 

I finally finished my prank for the alumni meeting, it will be the best thing ever! I put a mix of the hospital’s waste, the dumpster juice from by my box, Kyman’s and Cartman’s sweat, and moldy eggs in a blender and filled the fire sprinkler system full of it after making sure it was a liquid with Bunny and Tyde A. We were going to watch everyone get soaked, and I told Crenny to bring an umbrella.

I watched as everyone in detention left, we were doing community service, good thing I got cleaning the gym, fuck no am I cleaning the cafeteria tables, there’s gum down there.

I got down my hat wiggling, cueing time to feed my guinea pig. That’s right, guinea pig. She’s an ancient Peruvian guinea pig, her name is Spot. She doesn’t have a spot, but I think it fits her. My mom has one named Stripe #7, the others died over periods of time.

I got sent to Peru like my mom as revenge for ruining my enemy Wendi Testaburger's hair. Yes, Wendi Testaburger, unlike her mom Wendy. That’s for another day, but afterward, I went home to my box, and it was crushed by another box, and when I opened it, there was Spot!

She’s so cute! I spend most of the money I make on her, she’s amazing! I also tell her all my problems, I trust Crenny and Bunny, but I trust Spot more somehow. I will only show emotion to Spot. 

I pull her out of my hat, her cute brows and black fur soft against my hands. She’s so large and I’m so small I can barely fit her in my hands, but I trained her to sit still in my hands, I did it to Stripe #7 too. I sneak back to my old house just to visit him sometimes. 

She squealed the cutest squeak! Aahhh! No one hears of this. To avoid showing emotion to someone on accident, I hide behind the bleachers and give her my last carrot, watching her eat it. When she finishes it I put her back into my hat and head home. 

On my way home, I pass by the Tweak’s house, and as I usually do, I take a look inside their living room window. They seemed super confused. 

“Craig? If we didn’t have a kid what does this picture mean?!” He’s holding up our last family photo. I was 4, and it was a week before Cartman kidnapped me and threw me into the pond. 

“They could have just given us someone else’s kid, babe.” Why? He's always using that reason. 

“No, Craig! I don’t believe that this time! She looks just like us! My spiky hair, my eye bags, and my blue eyes! Your black hair, that chilly look in your eyes and your paperwhite skin! Craig, she’s our kid! How else do you explain your stretch marks when you’ve never been fat in your life! You’ve always stayed skinny and boney with occasional muscle!” Finally some logic. 

“Ok, Tweek, ok. Then let’s find her and ask. We didn’t get much out of Kyle’s daughter considering she knows as much as we do, so let’s go find her if she really is our kid.” Wait, they’re actually going to look for me?! No no no no no!

“Let’s go now! All the kids are out of school! They’re probably playing outside!” We were going to play superheroes on the 14th. It was going to be me, Tyde A and B, Bunny, Revin, I got Fike to play, Jim-Tim will be joining, Crenny if she wants to, Kyman, and Staley (who I didn't even need to ask). 

I watched them get up, then saw my mom who caught me peeking in the window. He looked at me, then headed to the front door. Shit! I booked it out of there, and by the time he got to the door and got it open, I was already out of the neighborhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, my friend actually wrote this so check out her Wattpad & Quotev!
> 
> Links:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/user/hopefulbunnieZ 
> 
> https://www.quotev.com/hopefulbunnieZ


	9. The Boy In The Bubble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of that alumni meeting that was mentioned in the past chaps! What will happen? Why do I keep asking that? I don't know!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 237 hits?! I know that I shouldn't be surprised at this point but I still am because I don't really like myself. I'm working on it though so no need to worry about me!

Date: 9/13

Today is the day of the alumni meeting.

Needless to say, I'm nervous.

Why? Because Creek asked me to bring an umbrella.

Oh dear, this prank might just be Creek's worse. There is no way she could top this. Though knowing Creek, she'll try.

Good news is that Creek asked me to play superheroes with everyone tomorrow.

I said yes because I had the BEST idea. Then I went and asked Dip to play. He was going to say no because he's the prince of Hell and he was above this tomfoolery until I told him that he could be a villain. He did tell me that he would be in Hell helping his grandfather Satan tonight so he (his words) couldn't come to the poor excuse of trying to establish authority.

After that, I asked Becole to play but she said that she had student council work to do so she couldn't play. I'm pretty sure that she would be at home all night.

Scottie agreed to play before I could even ask but she told me that she won't be at the alumni meeting because she was going to Skype with her mother until her she had to go to bed.

\------------------------------------------------------

[NIGHT TIME]

I brought an umbrella and told dad to as well, and we didn't tell Cartman. We were seated in the gym, all of South Park was in the gym.

I looked up to see Creek, Bunny, and Tyde A were looking down and smiling at the horrors they were going to release.

Oh no.

Soon Principal PC started his speech, and I saw Creek light the final match, the one that will damn South Park for a while.

Goddamnit Creek.

As Principal PC finishes it, the fire alarm goes off, my dad and I opened up our umbrellas, and a bad smell and a green liquid came pouring down onto everyone.

I look up at Creek with my most deadpan expression I can manage and look at the people around me.

I saw some of the parents there with umbrellas. (I guess the kids up there told their parents to bring an umbrella. I think I also saw Tyde B with his parents too.)

I know Uncle Firkle didn't come to the meeting. He said it was too conformist and left it at that.

Uncle Ike had a hockey match so he couldn't come.

Ms. Stevens and Ms. Daniels didn't come because they were on a date.

Mr. Allister couldn't come because Staley got sick but I heard Staley ask Creek to give him the details of the prank tomorrow.

On the other hand, some people got soaked. Bendy, Wendi, Ms. and Ms. Testaburger, Cartman, Kyman and...

Mr. and Mr. Tweak.

Then a thought came to me, what if Mr. and Mr. Tweak were Creek's parents? That would explain why they remind me of Creek so much but I couldn't ask Creek if this was true because every time she sees them, she would go hide somewhere to avoid them.

I could go ask Mr. Allister though...

Yeah, I'll do it right now!

While the people upstairs were busy high-fiving each other and the adults looking around for Creek, I sneak out of the meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for actually reading this (if you aren't, that's okay too!)


	10. Fuck You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we get Craig's point of view!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still surprised that people are reading this.

(Craig's Point of View)

[EARLIER THAT DAY]

The day started out pretty normal, except I woke up late. I got up and headed downstairs, to see Tweek making breakfast, and not freaking out about burning the eggs. He also hadn't made any coffee. Ok, something's wrong. I walk over to him and pat his head.

"Gah! Craig! G...Good morning!" His smile is still adorable.

I just give him my standard monotone response, "Morning babe,". I walked over to the coffee pot, but he stopped me, what's going on?

"Hey, Craig? C-can we talk?",

"Sure, about what?"

I watched him set the food he made on a plate so it didn't burn the house down. "I-it's about that k-kid, the homeless one!"

"What about her?" I don't know why Tweek keeps bringing her up, ever since the Broflovski kids came over with that homeless girl, Tweek's been worried endlessly about the chance that we had a kid. Yeah, I did end up accidentally getting a uterus for an awkward 10 months but that doesn't mean it was actually functional, and plus Tweek and I used protection so it shouldn't have happened anyways.

"I found a p-picture in the a-attic!" He finished setting the table, and walked over to me, and showed me the picture. It was us, with a little girl, in my chullo and the sweater I got for mine and Tweek's 1 year anniversary. Why was she wearing those, they went missing 9 years ago...

"See Craig! It's like that photo of us with that 2-year-old, they look the same!" I sighed, I don't want to talk about this before work, I'll probably have to do it later.

"It could be a random kid, just so they look good with gay families, love." I hated telling him this excuse, but it was probably true.

"Nnngghhh.. fine, we're talking about this later though, I'm going to be late opening up the coffee shop. L-love you C-Craig!" and with that, he left. This will be a long day.

\------------------------------------------------------

[LATER THAT DAY]

I was working at home, I work at NASA, but I can't actually go in, so I work at home. I just finished when I heard Tweek walk in. I check the time, it was only 4:30, he's not supposed to be home until at least 9.

"C-Craig! I-I'm home early!" I walked out of my office and smile at him, even though I know exactly what he's going to say. "Welcome home babe."

"T-Thanks, now, a-about this morning." I knew it.

"Craig! I know we had a kid! This picture proves it! It also explains why we constantly feel like something is missing from our lives!!" Tweek, how can two males have a biological kid?

"No we didn't Tweek, I think we would've remembered..." He isn't backing down, oh no.

"Craig? If we didn't have a kid what does this picture mean?!" He's holding up that picture from the attic again. Why is he so certain this time?

"They could have just given us someone else's kid babe." I hate using that excuse. Every time he's found a family photo of us with a kid, I have to remind him.

"No Craig!" What? "I don't believe it this time! She looks just like us! My spiky hair, my eye bags, and my blue eyes! Your black hair, that chilly look in your eyes and your pale skin! Craig, she's our kid! How else do you explain your stretch marks when you've never been fat in your life! You've always stayed skinny and boney with occasional muscle!" Shit, he has a point, I guess she could be, it explains why I had my uterus for as long as I did.

I finally gave in, "Ok Tweek, ok. Then let's find her and ask. We didn't get much out of Kyle's daughter considering she knows as much as we do, so let's go find her if she really is our kid." His face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Let's go now! All the kids are out of school! They're probably playing outside!" I smiled at Tweek.

I then decided to look through the window, and I saw that kid we were just arguing about, watching us like we were goldfish. I moved to the front door.

"Uhh, Craig?" I opened the front door and saw her booking it down the neighborhood, clutching what Tweek said was my hat like something special was going to fall out.

"W-what is it Craig? T-The government?!" I sigh and shut the door. "No babe, it was that girl, well, our daughter."

"W-What?! Why was she here?! Why didn't she come inside?! W-We need to find her!" I pat his head, "Let's just get ready for that stupid alumni meeting thing tonight.

"O-ok..."

\------------------------------------------------------

[AT THE MEETING]

I sat on the hardass bleachers with Tweek, looking at our old elementary school gym. I saw Kyle and his kids. His daughter was strangely looking up. I looked up and saw that weird girl and 2 other kids smirking and laughing. What were they doing?

Soon the meeting started, and PC Principal, who I'm shocked is still principal, began to welcome us, and when he finished speaking...

RING!!!

The fire suppression system kicked in, and a few people, Kyle and his daughter included, put up umbrellas, and the rest of us got covered in a sticky, disgusting green liquid.

"GAH! C-Craig what is this?!" I sighed and patted Tweek's head, and heard PC Principal shout at the top of his lungs;

"ELLY TWEAK! YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" I had never seen him so mad. I heard laughter from above, as they all quickly ran. It was a pretty good prank though.

Wait a minute, Tweak?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend and I wrote this part (sort of) together!


	11. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Riley Allister, my new kid (the edgy fuck...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 283? Damn.

[BACK TO CRENNY!]

I went to Mr. Allister's house. It's not that hard to find considering that it has beer bottles everywhere on the lawn.

I knock on the door because if I ring the doorbell, Mr. Marsh would answer the door. You're probably wondering why? He's in rehab right now. I know that, but old habits die hard. The first and last time that Mr. Marsh answered the door, he asked me to help him divorce dad and Cartman.

That was an uncomfortable conversation because after he asked me that, he proceeded to talk about being my step-father and all of that.

Of course, he was drunk at the time.

Anyway, Mr. Allister answers the door.

"Hello, Claire. How are you?", he asked.

"I'm great, Mr. Allister. Thank you for asking!"

I like Mr. Allister, then again so do all of the kids in South Park. (Yes, even Dip and Fike like him.)

He's really cool too! 4 years ago, he took Creek and me to the amusement park.

Besides my fear of being completely alone, I also have a fear of roller coasters. Specifically, of really high rollercoasters.

I was being pressured by some guys from Middle Park to get on the rollercoaster and I ended up panicking. They were laughing at me while I panicked.

Creek saw that happening. She would've gone over there and scared them into moving to Madagascar if Mr. Allister didn't tell her to help me calm down.

Creek went over to me and got me to breathe and then she proceeded to say some multiplication problems to me.

After Creek calmed me down, Mr. Allister took us to my favorite ride, this is also Creek's favorite ride; the spinning teacups. We had a really fun time until Mr. Allister drove us to my house because Mr. Marsh wanted more drinks.

We were worried for Mr. Allister, Creek most of all but he told us that he could handle himself.

Creek didn't believe him but she shrugged and went inside my house with me.

Back in the present, I smiled and let myself inside the house.

\------------------------------------------------------

I went straight to the point.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Allister but are the Tweaks Creek's parents?"

I could tell that he didn't expect me to ask that.

"Well, I can't really lie about that. Yes, you are correct. Craig and Tweek are Elly's parents."

I had a number of questions that I couldn't ask.

I said goodbye to Mr. Allister and walked back to the school.

When I got to the school, I waited outside for the meeting to finish.

_'I wonder if I will ever find out who my real parents are...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why ya'll reading this??? I mean you don't have to say why I'm just genuinely curious.


	12. B Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 4th graders are going to play superheroes! :D

Date: 9/14

I went through my closet for my dad's black ninja costume.

Once I found it, I looked for my highlighter orange ushanka. Yeah, I have an ushanka. I actually got it in the mail after someone put a dead squirrel with a note that said, **_Stay away from my girl. - JB_** in my mailbox. To this day, I still don't know who JB is.

I put the ninja costume on and the ushanka on my head.

I got some change, a hot glue gun, stuff to make smoke bombs with and a stapler.

The pennies were made into shurikens. The dimes turned into kunai. The quarters were inside the smoke bombs I made. With the staples from the stapler and the nickels, I made a whip chain.

I found some old dollar bills and made origami nunchaku. I hot-glued them just in case they fell apart.

After I hid my weapons into my ushanka, I went outside with Kyman who was dressed in Cartman's old superhero costume but with a kite on his back. He called himself The Flying Big Boned Raccoon or FBR. I came up with it for him because he couldn't come up with a somewhat original name.

\------------------------------------------------------

I see everyone all dressed up in costumes.

Creek's costume consisted of a blue shirt with a taped-on paper that had the letter S on it, her black shorts, a blue jacket, and...

SHE'S WEARING SHOES?!

I rubbed my eyes and pinched myself but I wasn't dreaming. Creek was really wearing shoes.

I looked at her and saw a huge guinea pig with a red cape on her shoulder.

"I'm Super Bitch. Who are you?", Creek asked; getting into character.

"Just call me Jewja.", I said; playing along.

"Ok." She just replied, her murderer of color monotone still working like it never left.

I looked around our friend group, Tyde A had a plain boring white T-shirt and some jeans and sneakers, but a long cape and a Halloween mask that looked like it was supposed to be of Superman, but it just the eye parts left.

Tyde B had more effort, he had all sorts of tools, like measuring tapes and screwdrivers, but also cell phones and plastic containers?

I saw Bunny in what'd be normal clothes, but her shirt and mask had bunnies on them, and she had bunny ears and CDs on her belt. Why didn't they put as much effort into their outfits?

Then I remembered Creek volunteered to make them, that's why. I saw her sigh and call a timeout, and actually apologized for the shitty effort, and told them to, and I quote, "Go fix yo' selves!".

It made us laugh more than we should have. After that the only thing that changed was Bunny had an actual outfit, it was still her skirt, shirt, and thigh-highs, but a lot hipper and more 'hoppy' looking, Tyde A had a revised Superman costume on, and Tyde B just got goggles and more containers.

I saw Revin had a piece of paper with an 'R' on her chest, and she had a cape and a big pair of goggles on, along with her usual jean dress. She looked up at Creek with a big grin on her face, and Creek just patted her head. She wanted to be "Super Lilith" but Creek said to put some effort into it, so she decided to be the Spectacular Rose.

Fike was in an all-black snowsuit with a black hat and mask on, his hat had a red maple leaf on it, and said he was only a hero because I was playing. He's calling himself Darth Maple.

Jim-Tim had lightning bolts on his crutches and a Fast Pass headband on, but his outfit was blue. It looked really cool together. He said his name is The Runner, and he said it was supposed to be ironic.

Scottie was Captain Core and had a mini marine outfit with rocks that were made of core energy. It's actually original.

Staley had on a pastel sweater and some black jeans on, he said he was a reporter since there always had to be one. He couldn't come up with a hero name so he wanted to be the awkward reporter who got a rock to the face. I saw the cardboard reporter style camera I made for his 8th birthday in his hands.

Dip was our villain, The Prince Of Hell, his usual attire but he made a flame mask that looked the Ravenfall mask from Blade and Soul. With that, we're ready to play.


	13. Infinitesimal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The superhero game begins and Crenny contemplates crushes (mostly on her crush...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, 293 hits? Ya'll must really like this story. (Also 2 chaps in a day, yikes.)

The game started off with us trying to find crimes to stop.

We helped out most of the adults we know. (We were careful not to help the police department of South Park, you know because they're racist...)

Dip tried to stop us from helping people as the villain he was supposed to be but we heroes foiled his plans.

Bendy tried to flirt with Fike but he just ignored her and talked to Tyde B instead.

I gave Tyde B my best 'hurt my cousin and you'll feel my wrath' glare. I like to think he got my message.

\------------------------------------------------------

After a long day of crime-fighting, we parted ways.

When Kyman and I came home, we went up to our rooms.

I laid on my bed and thought about my crush on Bendy.

There was no way I could tell her that I had a crush on her mostly because she has a new boyfriend every week plus I'm pretty sure she has a crush on Tyde A.

Tyde A, however, has an obvious crush on Becole. I'm pretty sure she feels the same but she's too busy doing student council work.

It didn't really help that her council members were lazy as fuck. I offered to help her but she said that she didn't mind doing all the paperwork. I do occasionally buy her snacks. (I made sure that they were healthy because she's a huge health nut.)

I'm also sure that Bendy's not gay. I could tell because I have a stronger gaydar considering I'm kind of pansexual.

The only people I've told about my crush are Creek and Bunny. Creek told me to never tell Bendy because she didn't want my heart to be broken.

I sighed and put my headphones on. I found my music playlist and put it on shuffle.

The first song that played was Infinitesimal by Mother Mother and I fell asleep listening to the song.

🎶_"They say it started with a Big Bang but they say it came out from a small thing._

_Lately, I'm feeling like a Big Bang cause I've been making something out of nothing."_🎶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I ended this with a Mother Mother song. Do I regret it? Nope!


	14. Message Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen in this chapter? (*SPOILER* Someone will get rejected, just not in this chapter...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 306 hits?! WTF???

Date: 9/15

I was walking to class with Creek and Bunny (I was obviously third-wheeling them but you don't know that.), when Bendy came up to me and asked me in a saccharine tone of voice, 

"Hey, can I talk to you for a bit?"

Creek glared at her and Bunny looked uneasy; before they could say anything, I replied, "Sure, I guess."

Bendy smiled and said, "Great! Come with me then!"

Before I could say anything she took me by the hand and dragged me outside.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Bunny's Point Of View)

When Bendy asked Crenny if she could talk to her, I knew it wasn't good and it was all my fault.

[FLASHBACK]

_It happened when Bendy was telling everyone that _ _Tyde_ _ A had a crush on her before we started playing superheroes._

_I rolled my eyes. _ _Tyde_ _ B told me that _ _Tyde_ _ A had a crush on his ex-girlfriend _ _Becole_ _._

_They (_ _Tyde_ _ B and Becole) dated for while until Tyde B found out that he's gay. They broke up on mutual terms and they became pretty good friends._

_Anyway, I went up to her and said, "Tyde A doesn't have a crush on you but I know someone who actually does."_

_She raised her eyebrow and said in a smug voice, "Oh really? Who is it then?"_

_I wanted to wipe that smug smile off her face and without thinking, I replied, "It's Crenny."_

_She looked shocked and I internally smirked but that didn't last long._

_That smug smile returned and Bendy thanked me for the information and walked away._

_I shrugged and went off to find my girlfriend._

[END FLASHBACK]

Oh dear god, I can feel my sins crawling up my back.

Fuck me in the fucking pancreas.

\------------------------------------------------------

[BACK TO THE SHIP THAT WILL NEVER BE CANON IN THIS STORY AKA CRENNY]

My mind was racing. What did the queen bee want to talk about with the school's nerd? If this was a cliche high school movie, she'll either ask me to help her with her homework or confess her deep romantic feelings for me.

The 2nd option will never happen but I can't just assume what people are going to say so I wait until she told what she wanted to tell me.

Finally, after an awkward silence, she said, "Crenny, I know you have a crush on me and I wanted to tell you that I..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do ya'll like Bendy? (I don't but hey I won't judge...)


	15. Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter someone gets rejected! (*cough* Crenny *cough*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 322??? At this point, I won't even ask why anymore...

(Creek's Point Of View)

When I saw Bendy approaching us, I had a bad feeling.

After she dragged Crenny away, I followed them.

I leaned against a wall that hid me pretty well. Well, I'm short as fuck so anything would hide my poor ass.

There was an awkward silence.

Finally, she said, "Crenny, I know you have a crush on me and I wanted to tell you that I think you're cute and all but I don't swing that way."

I couldn't see it but I could tell that Crenny's heart was breaking when she said under her breath, "Not unless you're wet."

Thankfully, Bendy didn't hear her.

Besides from being an actually intelligent person, she's also a huge pervert. Not as much as my girlfriend, but pretty close.

Speaking of my girlfriend, I have the perfect revenge prank for her.

After Bendy walked away, I came out from my hiding place and walked up to Crenny.

Before I could say anything, she said, "I'm okay, you warned me that this would happen anyway..."

I hugged her. "No.", I said, "You're not okay. If you want to cry, cry." My monotone will kill shit at this rate, no fucks given.

It didn't take long for her to cry silently into my shoulder. While she was crying, I rubbed circles into her back. I hate comforting people, but my friends I'll make an exception for.

Crenny fell asleep after a while and I didn't want to wake her up so I carried her to the nurse's office. She's really not as heavy as most people might think she is.

The nurse wasn't in the room so I put her on the bed and left for class. I made sure to handcuff her to the bed so she didn't do anything to herself, just in case.

I couldn't care less about class but Crenny does and even though her grades are the highest out of everyone, she still wants to be a lot better. I wish I could care like her, but it's too much effort.

I sneak around the back of the class and I got to my seat behind Fike.

"Hey, Fike.", I whispered and tapped on his shoulder.

He turned around and raised his eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, I know I'm in class. Now please help me."

"Let me guess, you want me to write Crenny's notes?"

I blinked. I forgot that Fike always wrote Crenny's notes for her whenever she wasn't in class.

"I already wrote her notes down when I didn't see her come in. I even highlighted the important parts."

Even though Fike tells people that he doesn't have feelings, anyone could tell that he was worried about Crenny. Same with me.

I nodded and listened to old Mr. Garrison. I normally wouldn't but I don't need Crenny to worry about me getting detention when she just got rejected in one of the worse possible ways. Though, Bendy's going down.

\------------------------------------------------------

[AFTER SCHOOL]

Crenny was still asleep when Fike and I came into the nurse's office to pick her up. I unlocked the handcuffs I put on her.

I helped Fike get Crenny on his back and we walked to the kindergarten to go pick Crenny's fat brother up.

Surprisingly, he didn't say anything when he saw Crenny on Fike's back.

We walked to Crenny's house in silence.

\------------------------------------------------------

[BACK TO OUR PROTAGONIST WITH A SHIP NAME THAT WILL NEVER BE]

It was nice, dark and quiet in my mind; that is until I heard some music.

I smiled. It was a song called Bad Idea by Shiloh Dynasty. It was a cover but I didn't care. It's a good song.

I suddenly felt a presence over me, so I opened my eyes and saw Creek giving me the look. (It's a look that just sees straight into people's souls.)

"Why are you moping?"

There was no use in lying about it so I said, "Bendy and The Ink Machine."

"Ah, I see."

We were both quiet for a moment until Creek said, "Hey, you want to know what makes me happy?"

"You can be happy?", I couldn't help asking that question. It's extremely rare to hear Creek admitting to feeling any kind of emotion at all.

"Shut up Crenny. Do you want to know or not?"

I nodded. I was curious to know what makes Creek happy.

She lifted up her chullo and I saw a huge guinea pig on her head.

"Isn't that the guinea pig you had when we were playing superheroes?"

"Yeah, her name is Spot."

She put Spot in my hands. Creek then said, "Don't worry if she pees on you. She's just marking her territory."

I couldn't help but start laughing.

"I knew I could cheer you up.", Creek said.

We spent the entire day playing with Spot. I smiled, at least I don't have to worry about my notes.

Wait a minute...

MY NOTES!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end, the worst possible thing for someone to do when they reject you is telling you that they don't 'swing' that way. I mean, they already know that and all. Plus the person wasn't supposed to find out.


	16. Girls/Girls/Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of a filler and you learn a bit more about the characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 340 hits? At this rate, I might as well have a consistent update schedule...

Date: 9/16

The first thing I did when I entered the school, is going up to Fike who was talking to Staley.

I tapped on Fike's shoulder. He turned around and saw me. He opened up his black duffel bag and handed me a stack of papers.

"Here are your notes. I forged your handwriting and highlighted the important parts."

I smiled and said, "Thanks, Fike. Sorry for worrying you."

He looked away from me and said, "Just go to class, Cren."

\------------------------------------------------------

(Fike's Point Of View)

As I watched Crenny walk away, I turn back to Staley who was smirking at me.

"What?", I asked irritated.

Staley looked at me and sarcastically said, "You don't have emotions, huh?"

"Shut up, like you wouldn't worry about Creek."

Staley didn't say anything after that.

\------------------------------------------------------

[BACK TO LE CRENNY! THE PERSON NOT THE SHIP]

I reviewed the notes Fike wrote for me. I smiled. He really has a talent for this.

I listened to Mr. Garrison talk on and on about stuff not related to the subject at hand.

That's fine. I could research the subject on my own time anyway.

\------------------------------------------------------

[AFTER SCHOOL]

I went to pick up Kyman at school but Ms. Stevens told me that he got detention for setting fire to Revin's hair. Creek's going to murder him later, I can tell.

I'll go interrogate him later but until then, I'll leave that to Creek.

\------------------------------------------------------

[Later that day]

I was downstairs on the couch until I heard a knock on the door. I opened it to find Creek and Revin, with a beat-up Kyman.

"Sorry we beat up Kyman, but I'm not letting him light my cousin on fire." She needs to stop her monotone, her cousin might catch it.

Anyway, I carry Kyman up to his room.

I'll go interrogate him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER: Crenny didn't interrogate him until MUCH later...


	17. Bye Bye Bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conflict happens in this chapter! :o *SPOILER* This is going to be a short conflict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 360 nose scope hits!

Date: 9/17

The first thing I see when I enter the school is Bunny running from a horde of cats. That's right, cats.

I notice a bag of catnip swinging from her backpack. I was going to tell her but I saw Creek sign out, **'NO DON'T TELL BUNNY ABOUT CATNIP'**

Oh yeah, I know ASL. I learned it when I was 3. In fact, I kinda taught myself. Dad and Fike learned it just so they could understand me.

Creek knows ASL because Mr. Allister taught her. Staley also knows because Mr. Allister is his dad so of course he would teach his own kid ASL.

Most of South Park doesn't know ASL so Creek and I could get away with saying anything in ASL. 

It's really funny to do to Kyman. We could just be talking about 2000's music and when Kyman would ask us what we said, we could say in the straightest voice we could say that we were planning to murder him. (That's a lie on both our parts because we aren't exactly straight by any means.) 

He would look panicked until I told him that we were kidding and Creek would say in her color killing monotone that she wasn't kidding. 

He would panic again and I would almost die of laughing.

Anyway, I didn't tell Bunny about the catnip and walked to class.

As I walked to class, I heard Creek tell Bunny that she loves her while Bunny made these cute angry noises.

I smiled. They really are a cute couple.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Bendy's Point Of View)

I took my time in putting this together. Heh, I'll ruin Crenny's elementary school reputation for life.

It will be so ruined that even Creek will leave her alone for life.

Watch out for tomorrow, Crenny. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SPOILER* This conflict starts and ends in the next 3 chaps...


	18. Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the conflict begins (and ends in like 2 chapters...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for 367 hits!

Date: 9/18

I just entered the school and all of a sudden I get bombarded with questions.

Specifically, questions about my sexual orientation.

I would've told them that it was none of their business but they were moving closer and closer to me. I felt like I couldn't breathe at that moment.

I told you 2 of my fears; being completely alone and abandoned and really high rollercoasters.

Well here's a 3rd one, crowds. Granted it's not as strong as the 1st fear I have but it's still there.

I was panicking so much that I didn't notice anything at all and blacked out.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Creek's Point Of View)

I walked into school holding hands with Bunny as usual and saw posters saying that Crenny was gay everywhere, and knew what I needed to do.

"Babe, you still have those pictures we were talking about yesterday?"

Bunny smiled, "We're going to fuck her life up?"

"Yup!" I actually put emotion into my voice.

Sorry, Crenny. Please last a little longer, I'll avenge you.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Fike's Point Of View)

As I enter the school, I see a crowd parting away from the area near Crenny's locker.

Wait...

Crenny's locker? Oh no.

I don't see Creek or her girlfriend anywhere so I go up to Crenny who's just lying on the ground.

I'll go kill the people who did this to Crenny later. That is if Creek doesn't get to them first.

I carried her to the back of the school. I laid her down on the place where Creek and I smoke sometimes. Crenny doesn't know that we smoke and we are trying to keep it that way.

I waited for Crenny to wake up while I listened to my music. I was too worried about Crenny to even smoke.

Ah, fuck it, I'm smoking.

\------------------------------------------------------

[BACK TO CRENNY! YOU SHOULD KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW...]

I woke up to the smell of smoke.

Wait, smoke?

I looked at Fike who was smoking.

"Fike, what are you doing?"

He just stared at me and slowly hid a cigarette behind his back.

"Cren, you're up.", he said surprised. "You okay?"

"Not really.", I said. There's no reason for me to lie. I'll get found out anyway.

He didn't say anything while he smoked but he did take my hand and rubbed circles into it.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Fike's Point Of View)

🎶_ "It solo, solo, everybody. It solo, everybody. It solo, solo, everybody."_🎶

Oh god, it's Staley's ringtone. I gave him that ringtone because he likes that song.

Alright, I'll admit it. I like pop music. Just not Justin Bieber. He sucks. Covers of Justin Bieber songs are okay as long as I don't hear his stupid voice.

I take my phone out of my jacket pocket. I looked over to Crenny.

She didn't ask who was calling me. That worried me, she was a talkative kid. Even when she was mute, she would sign every few seconds and extremely fast too. Creek, Staley, Mr. Allister, uncle Kyle and I are the only ones who could keep up with her signing.

When I turned on my phone, I saw 1 missed call from Staley.

I ended up texting him on Discord.

_______________________________

**Goth Canadian**  
Why the fuck did you call me?  
I was busy smoking

**My mood: Billie Eilish**  
CREEK SET SOMETHING UP FOR THE QUEEN BITCHES!  
TAKE CRENNY WITH YOU  
CREEK DEMANDS IT  
_______________________________

I wonder what Creek decided to do to the queen bitches.

I responded to Staley immediately.

_______________________________

**Goth Canadian**  
Ok, I'll take Cren with me  
Where are you?

**My mood: Billie Eilish**  
WE'RE IN THE AUDITORIUM

_______________________________

\------------------------------------------------------

I took Crenny to the auditorium.

As we walked, I got more excited for what Creek was going to do to the serial heartbreaker and her pseudo twin sister.

I'm talking about Bendy and Wendi. The queen bees of the school or the queen bitches as most the school called them.

I sat down in the back with Crenny. She was unresponsive which worried me even further. I hope that whatever Creek did would get my favorite cousin to be herself again.

Yeah, Crenny is my favorite cousin. I'm not ashamed of that fact. If you conformists think that I care about my cousin Kyman in the same way that I do for Crenny, then you're wrong.

I could care less about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Crenny wasn't related to Fike, they'd probably be dating??? I dunno...


	19. Oddloop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the conflict ends on a rather weird note...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 391 hits! DAMN!

(Creek's Point Of View)

I saw Fike in the back of the auditorium with an unresponsive Crenny.

Oh, Bendy and Wendi. You have no idea what is going to happen to your reputation.

I smiled evilly at the fear on everyone's face, this will definitely top the alumni meeting prank I pulled.

I clear my throat and pulled up the microphone, my monotone murdering all things happy and colorful, announced:

"Ladies and gentlehoes, all the assholes I can't care less about, and my friends who helped me set this up. Now you all know about the Crenny posters."

Murmurs spread throughout the auditorium, and Crenny actually looked up. I grinned.

"She won't tell you until she's ready, until then, feast your eyes on the most hilarious sight you'll ever see! Now!"

Me, Bunny and Tyde A pulled out the ropes on the stage and a beautiful snowfall of posters of nude photos of Bendy Stevens and Wendi Testaburger. Nude photos a perverted man in South Park had before he hanged himself. 

As the pictures flowed down, everyone started talking and laughing. Even Crenny smiled.

**Best.** **Prank.** **Ever.**

I looked and saw Bendy's and Wendi's mortified faces, and I gave them a blood-curdling grin. I knew I had won. 

Bunny came over and picked my tiny frame up, and Tyde A came over jumping around happily like Bunny was, freaking me out a bit.

"Hey, put me down please," I asked with the monotone of old movie colors. They didn't. 

Instead, they both lifted me up and cheered, the entire school was laughing at Bendy and Wendi, posting the pictures on the internet, and making them laughing stocks. That'll teach them to mess with my super best friend. No one fucks with Claire Broflovski, not without severe consequences. 

I looked over at Crenny, a big smile on her face, I knew I fixed her shitty day. I saw Fike, who was next to her, calling me over. What does he want?

I jumped down off the tower of friends and went over to Fike, and we went out back to the smoking area after telling Crenny we'd be back in a bit.

We went out back and pulled out some cigarettes. 

"Thanks for making Crenny happy again, I appreciate it."

"No problem." I took a drag of the cigarette. "I'd say the same thing to you if you did something like this for Revin." 

He nodded and continued to smoke until we heard the door to the smoking area open.

Shit.

"Hey you guys have been out here for a while, are you two ok-" she stopped.

Me, Crenny and Fike stared at each other in an awkward silence.

"Creek, you smoke?"

I just kinda nodded and continued smoking. We all sat there for a while. 

Oh boy.

\------------------------------------------------------

[BACK TO THE RESIDENT CINNAMON ROLL AKA THE CREN]

I was quiet for a moment and then asked, "Give me one."

Creek looked at me with confusion on her face. 

"No." Her monotone never changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Boom-paa! Nothing can ever heal me from the wounds of disaster." - X.Borg


	20. This Is Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tbh this is one of my favorite chapters to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 407 hits??? WOW.

Date: 9/19

After I found out that Fike and Creek smoked yesterday, I asked for a cigarette.

Creek's been trying to keep cigarettes away from me after that.

Anyway, I'll admit that I'm still pretty heartbroken over She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. (AKA Bendy)

But I'm moving on. Maybe not as quickly as some people would, but I'm moving on.

\------------------------------------------------------

After school, I went up to my room.

I open up my laptop and went on my Discord.

_______________________________

**I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish**  
Hello, my fellow adoptees.  
How are you all?

**Double K**  
I'm just as fine as someone whose boyfriend's parents don't approve of you.

**I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish**  
I'm rolling my eyes right now as we speak, K2

**Primary Depression**  
This is a typed conversation.  
Sorry about my parents, K

**Double K**  
It's fine, don't worry about it, Staig

**Primary Depression**  
I want to worry about it, K

_______________________________

K2 was my 1st internet friend. The first time I met him was on Tumblr.

He posted an extremely long rant about what a Jewish person was supposed to look like.

I had commented on that post that I'm Jewish and looked nothing like that. That's how we became friends.

K2's boyfriend, Staig became my 2nd internet friend when K2 introduced us to each other.

They both live up in Denver and Staig's parents don't approve of them dating because they wanted Staig to date this kid named Twenny.

_______________________________

**Logical Space Artist**  
Will you two stop acting like an overly affectionate couple who haven't seen each other for a year?  
To answer your question Crenny, I am doing quite well

**Depressed and Perverted**  
Tbh, they kinda are because of Staig's rents, Cryle  
I'm fine except my rents are trying to get me to talk

**I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish**  
Oh dear.  
At least you have all of us to communicate with.

**Depressed and Perverted**  
Yea, thanks Crenny

**I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish**  
No problem, Stenny

_______________________________

I met Cryle on Tumblr. I had liked a picture of his and he followed me. That made him my 3rd internet friend.

Cryle lived all the way up in Poland and absolutely loathed America's way of life but tolerates it for his internet friends aka me and everyone else on this server.

Stenny is a mute kid. Completely mute. I met him on an ASL forum. He wanted to know if it was okay if his parents didn't know ASL. Not a lot of people were online that day so I told him that his parents should try to learn ASL. We became friends over that, making him my 4th internet friend.

Stenny lives in Norway with his parents who are in denial about him being mute.

_______________________________

**Made Of Sunshine**  
Geez, y'all are soooooo depressing.

**Every Day I'm Stuttering**  
Not all of us can be like you, Cratters.

**Made Of Sunshine**  
You clearly know a lot about me, Stutters.

**Every Day I'm Stuttering**  
That's because I'm your twin.  
Anyway, we're doing okay. @I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish

_______________________________

Cratters and Stutters are twins much like Tyde A and Tyde B.

I met them on Omegle and they became my 5th and 6th internet friends after that.

The both of them live in Flagstaff, Arizona with Vietnamese parents. At least they had better luck with their parents. Well, I think so.

_______________________________

**Stylish Nerd**  
I am very gay right now, thank you.

**Anxious Depressed Fuck**  
That's a mood

**Not A Hacker**  
Lol yeah, totally

**Jiminy Timothy**  
Tbh, we're all somewhat gay

**I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish**  
ALL OF THE HOMO

**Stylish Nerd**  
I'M STRAIGHT!

**I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish**  
WHO CARES?!

**Made Of Sunshine**  
YOU DON'T EVEN COUNT!  
_______________________________

Stylish Nerd or Style is my 7th internet friend who lives in Alaska. We met on Tumblr when he was ranting about Project Runway becoming even more unique every season.

I reblogged that post with the caption, _'Pass me that aux cord, I'm playing Fashion Week by Blackbear while I watch Project Runway.'_

We became friends after that.

Not A Hacker aka Twyle is an actual hacker who lives in Russia and is my 8th internet friend.

When we first met, he tried to hack into my computer. He failed and we became friends.

You guys already know about Jim-Tim.

Finally, Anxious Depressed Fuck or Steek is one of the last internet friends I met.

We met because Steek called my number on accident. He was trying to call Jim-Tim but called me instead. Well, to be honest, Jim-Tim's number is similar to my number except for one digit.

Steek lives in New York with his Korean parents who want him to marry a beautiful Korean girl when he grows up.

I smiled. I really liked talking to these guys.

Yup, that's right. I'm the only girl in this group.

I spent the rest of my afternoon talking to people on Discord until it was night time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Dad! I hope you never read this! XD


	21. Stolen Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stoned in paradise, we don't talk about it." - Stolen Dance by Milky Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank ya'll for 424 hits!

Date: 9/20

(Steek's Point Of View)

I've been talking to my internet friends for 2 years.

I met them all thanks to one person.

Crenny Broflovski.

She's an interesting person based on what she would say online.

Sometimes she would say things about herself that would make people worry about her in a casual manner.

To be honest, I sorta have a crush on her.

I was finally going to tell her yesterday but she said this on Discord:

________________________________

**I'm Asian, Blonde & Jewish**  
Btw my heart got broken by a girl lol

________________________________

Everyone on the server wanted to murder the girl who broke Crenny's heart. I agreed with them.

So for now, I'll tell her when she recovers from her heartbreak.

\------------------------------------------------------

[THE CREN IS BACK!]

When I came to school today, everyone went up to me and apologized to me for what happened yesterday while keeping their distance.

I have a feeling that Fike and Creek were responsible for that. I shrugged and told them that no biggie.

After that, I walked to class.

\------------------------------------------------------

[AFTER SCHOOL]

So I picked my brother up from school and remembering what I was going to do when he got detention on the 16th; I began interrogating him about the reason why he set Revin's hair on fire.

Turns out he has a crush on Revin. Ouch, if only he knew about Revin's crush on Dip.

I tell him that Revin won't like him if he keeps on picking on her and went up to my room.

\------------------------------------------------------

When I entered my room, I put on my noise-canceling headphones and put my music playlist on shuffle.

The song that starting playing first was Stolen Dance by Milky Chance.

I close my eyes while listening to the lyrics until I fell asleep.

🎶_"I want you by my side so that I never feel alone again._

_They've always been so kind but now they've brought you away from me._

_I hope they didn't get your mind, your heart is too strong anyway._

_We need to fetch back the time they have stolen from us."_🎶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is a short chap...


	22. Can't Get You Out Of My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The internet friends (finally!) make an official appearance. (Yes, Style really is the straight guy.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess ya'll like short chapters cause I got 438 hits overnight...

Date: 9/21

Today is going to be a great day today! Why? My internet friends will be coming to South Park!

Let me explain, it's a yearly tradition that K2 started the year after we all met for the first time where we go visit each other's hometowns for 2 days.

Twyle hacks into the airline company ahead of time to find a good time to buy the tickets and Steek pays for them because his parents are the rich Koreans you see on K-dramas.

Everyone is responsible for accommodations and it's a great time.

This year, it's my turn.

I planned for them to sleep in the basement because,

1\. It's technically mine because I asked Dad for the basement and he quickly agreed. I don't blame him, he probably didn't want Cartman to do something completely idiotic, terrible or dangerous in there.

2\. My room is too small for all 9 of my internet friends including myself.

&

3\. Cartman isn't allowed in the basement so I could do stuff without him ruining it.

Anyway, I set up the basement to be as comfy as I can make it until I had to go to school.

\------------------------------------------------------

When I came to school, I wasn't paying attention to what Mr. Garrison was talking about. I was too excited about what I have planned for my internet friends.

I was going to finally introduce to them to Creek. Why couldn't I introduce them last year? It was actually Stenny's turn that year so I was in Norway visiting Stenny with everyone else in my internet friend group.

It turns out that Stenny's parents don't want to learn ASL or the Norwegian equivalent NSL so he and I would speak in ASL when his parents weren't around. He would also teach me a bit of NSL for good measure.

As I was thinking, Mr. Garrison called on me.

"Claire Broflovski, what is the answer to number 4?"

I looked at number 4 of the worksheet that he probably gave us while I wasn't paying attention.

** _4\. What is element 71 in the periodic table?_ **

Oh, it's a science worksheet. I rolled my eyes, this was a piece of cake for me considering the fact that my dad made me memorize the whole periodic table while I was being homeschooled.

"Lutetium.", I said.

After Mr. Garrison had nodded, I fill out the rest of the worksheet with ease. Geez, they really need to give me a challenge here. I've done all of these and more in my sleep.

\------------------------------------------------------

The first thing I did was to ask Creek if she wanted to go to the airport with me.

"Sure.", she said in her natural color draining monotone.

As my dad drove us to the airport, I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Creek's Point Of View)

I look at Crenny who just has the biggest smile on her face.

That is the Claire Crenny Broflovski that I met when I was 3. That girl had the biggest smile out of everyone in South Park and I haven't seen it since the whole Bendy debacle.

I'm glad that she's happy. She deserves it.

Now, how to prevent my parents from finding me...

\------------------------------------------------------

[CRENNY HAS RETURNED!]

When we stepped out of the car, I practically ran to the baggage claim area with dad and Creek trailing behind me.

As I waited for my internet friends to arrive, I was signing like crazy to my dad and Creek while they nodded along.

It wasn't until I heard Cratters' voice shout out, "YO, CREN! WE'RE HERE AND WE'RE ALL HETEROS!"

I smiled and shouted back, "OH, YEAH? NAME ONE, SUNSHINE!"

"ME, BITCH!", I hear Style say. "YOU DON'T COUNT!", Cratters replied.   
"OH FUCK YOU!"   
"RIGHT BACK AT YA PAL!"

I prepared myself for a group hug after that argument.

Lo and behold, I ended up in a group hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya'll read this (which I hope you do...), There's a little part in Creek's POV where she says, "Now, how to prevent my parents from finding me..."
> 
> That's part of the plot. (Sort of...)


	23. Pork Soda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Creek gets introduced to the internet friends!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 461 hits?! I'm pretty sure it was 456 when I checked this earlier.

(Creek's Point Of View)

When we got to the Broflovski house and settled down in the basement, Crenny started introducing me to her internet friends.

******************************

_K2 - wavy light red hair, wears a red __ushanka_ _and a lime green parka. He has freckles too. Seems like a nice guy with anger issues. Dating a depressed looking guy_ _who wears primary colors._

_Staig_ _ \- black hair, wears an outfit similar to what my mom wore in 4th grade, a yellow scarf, black fingerless gloves, and a red and blue _ _chullo_ _. Definitely depressed. Dating a guy his parents don't like. Nice._

_Cryle_ _ \- curly dark red hair, wearing what looked like a fusion of an _ _ushanka_ _ and a _ _chullo_ _ that was in blue-green and a dark green and dark orange scarf. Real artistic looking guy. Maybe just as intelligent as _ _Crenny_ _._

_Stenny_ _ \- platinum blonde hair, wearing a face mask and a red parka. He's mute. Kinda reminds me of when I first met _ _Crenny_ _. Also has freckles._

_Cratters - half blonde and half black hair that goes over his eyes, wearing a light blue _ _chullo_ _ with sun patterns and a yellow ski jacket. A little shit. I could see him helping me out with my pranks._

_Stutters - black emo-ish haircut, wears a blue ski jacket and a light yellow beanie with a light blue puffball on top of it. An anxious guy with a pretty bad stutter. I guess that's why that's his middle name._

_Style - fire red hair, wears a gray fedora, a white collared button up shirt, an orange tie, a short black trench coat, and a pair of gray UGGs. Definitely one of those _ _metrosexual_ _ guys just not as flamboyant._

_Twyle - blonde hair that reminds me of my dad's hair, wearing a green Russian _ _M4_ _ parka, a dark green _ _ushanka_ _, and a pair of white frameless glasses. Crenny told me that he's a hacker but I'll have to see it to believe it._

_& finally;_

_Steek_ _ \- messy black hair (not as messy as my hair though), wearing a red flannel and a blue beanie. Has depression and anxiety, yikes. Keeps looking at Crenny. He definitely has a crush on her. I guess I'll help him out a bit._

******************************

I snap out of my mental listing when I heard Crenny laugh.

Crenny's laugh was as loud as her voice. I mentally smiled, I can see why these guys make her so happy.

I watched these guys interact with Crenny until we all fell asleep. 

I did all of that despite the fact that I don't care. I still don't care. At. All.

For Crenny to smile and laugh like that again, I could care. Just a tiny bit. An extremely tiny bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter introducing the internet peeps.


	24. Alone Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire's internet friends leave South Park (but that won't be the last time we 'read' about them!) Also Stan FINALLY sorts of makes an appearance! Also, my new kid has to make a choice between his kid's wishes or his own happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while since I updated this thing so yeah...

Date: 9/22

[HERE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS BOOK AND THEIR POINT OF VIEW]

Today is the day my internet friends leave for their hometowns. Dad drove them to the airport while I walked to school with Creek and Kyman.

When we came to school, Creek pulled me aside.

"Hey, Cren?", she asked me in her usual monotone. "Yeah?", I replied.

"You know about Stan ending up in rehab?"

"Yeah, didn't Mr. Allister drive him there?"

Creek nodded her head and was silent for a while until she said, "He's coming back to South Park tomorrow."

If you only know about the Creek's reputation of being an emotionless, twitchy, anxious, monotone asshole who's the school prankster, you would think that she didn't care like you would expect her to.

But I know better than that, I heard a tiny bit of worry slither itself into her monotone.

Unlike the people who would have been surprised, I understand why she's worried or rather who she's worried about; her godfather Mr. Allister.

I don't know what happens in the Marsh-Allister household precisely, but I do know that Mr. Marsh would call Mr. Allister to buy him more drinks and that Mr. Allister and Creek would end up with bruises.

Staley would ask him to divorce Mr. Marsh but Mr. Allister would always tell him to wait until Mr. Marsh was sober.

"Mr. Allister can protect himself, Creek.", I told her.

"I know that, Crenny. I know."

We didn't say anything else while we walked to class.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Craig's Point Of View)

This is getting ridiculous. Tweek and I have been looking for that homeless girl for a while but that little fucker has been hiding from us.

We tried to enlist Kyle's daughter to help us but somehow that little evasive piece of shit heard us and we couldn't find her anywhere in the Broflovski house.

Although, Kyle's daughter did give us some information about her.

We know that she lives in a box (Tweek was freaking out about that.) When I asked her for a location, she wouldn't say anything about it, she does drugs, smokes and has a bigger caffeine addiction than Tweek. (Tweek was freaking out, even more, when he heard that.) The kid had been trying to get her to quit but to no avail and we know that Cartman might have been involved in what happened 9 years ago.

Tweek and I looked at each other, there was only one person who would know exactly what had happened 9 years ago; Riley Allister. But unfortunately, that guy won't tell us anything involving anything that happened 9 years ago. The reason why he's so tight-lipped about it? He wanted us to remember something, maybe what happened 9 years ago is that something.

I sighed, what happened 9 years ago and why can't Tweek and I remember?

\------------------------------------------------------

(Riley's Point Of View)

I was cleaning up the house for Stan's return from rehab tomorrow. What else could I do in a mostly empty house? My son Staley was hanging out with my goddaughter Creek and her friends.

As I was cleaning up the house, I was reminiscing about the good old days, before the alcohol took over Stan's life.

\------------------------------------------------------

I first met Stan when we were all playing the Stick of Truth. The elves came up to me and had taken me to their king.

As they were explaining to their king about me because I wouldn't talk, my eyes settled on the human right next to him. He was pretty tall, not as tall as Feldspar but still tall, he had black hair and brown eyes, and wearing something a knight would wear. (Just look up Stick Of Truth Stan on Google.).

As I was staring at this guy, he stared back at me with distrust and curiosity in his brown eyes.

I guess the elf king saw something in our staring contest because he paired the both of us together to make sure I got the goth kids on the elves' side.

To be honest, I was going to betray the humans anyway because of Wizard King Cartman trying to get Feldspar arrested for stealing some of his treasure. Feldspar stole that treasure because the Wizard King owned him money that he promised to him for his services. Plus Cartman can't arrest someone under the protection of the barbarians, especially one under the protection of their king, Tweek.

Anyway, Stan was trying to get me to talk while I just stayed silent. Don't get me wrong, I can talk just fine. I was just a selective mute. Feldspar was the only person who heard my voice and I intended to keep it that way.

Stan had asked me to defeat a she-ogre. To be more specific, his sister. After we defeated her, Stan thanked me and I nodded. He didn't say anything after that.

\------------------------------------------------------

The second time I saw him was when we were playing superheroes, I met him after Caption Diabetes and I kept a drunk Randy Marsh's keys away from him. I was in the park with Coon Friends (Well, technically it's Coon and Friends but I didn't like Cartman because of the stupid backstory that he gave me.) when he came out from behind a tree.

The Coon Friends called him Toolshed. I looked at him, he looked the same the last time I met him except for the outfit. (LOOK UP TOOLSHED SOUTH PARK ON GOOGLE!)

He thanked me and said told me that he owed me a favor. I wasn't really paying attention until I heard him say that the Coon Friends were nothing without me. He looked at me and asked if I ever wanted to switch franchises, I could talk to him and he disappeared somewhere.

We worked together on a few missions and he would tell me about how Freedom Pals was better than Coon Friends. I nodded along as he talked, all the while thinking about quitting Coon and Friends.

When I was summoned to the Coon Friends base, I had a bad feeling in my gut and not just me, my alters felt the same. Yeah, I have DID but that's not the point.

I sat down in my usual seat and waited for Cartman to say something. I zoned out when Cartman was talking about how to overthrow the Freedom Pals. It wasn't until I felt everyone stare at me.

I was confused until Cartman said that he wanted me to infiltrate the Freedom Pals. That's when I made my decision but first I had to let Super Craig know that I'm quitting.

After the meeting, I pulled Super Craig aside. I looked around to make sure that we were alone. He raised his eyebrow at me and asked me why did I drag him into a secluded area.

I told him that I was quitting Coon Friends (Yes, I said Coon Friends...)

He wasn't even surprised. He just told me to tell him how Wonder Tweek is doing once I join. I rolled my eyes, I definitely need to get those two back together. But, how am I going to do that?

I went to go find Toolshed who was on his way to the Freedom Pals base. He seemed surprised to see me. I texted him that I wanted to join the Freedom Pals. He smiled at me and lead me to the base.

When we reached the base, Toolshed told the rest of the Freedom Pals that I wanted to switch sides. They didn't believe it and I don't really blame them. It wasn't until I thought about what Cartman had asked me to do and I saw Dr. Timothy tell the rest of the Freedom Pals of my thought.

I might have to careful around this Dr. Timothy, he could find out a lot of my secrets and expose them if he wanted to.

\------------------------------------------------------

High school came around remarkably quickly and I had made quite a reputation for myself. I was known as a liar and a whore; both of which were true. The reasons why I might be like this?

Let's see, my parents took something from me that I can't ever get back resulting in me having 2 alters named Rick and Renee, my older brother Xander and brother in law Liam eloped all the way to Scotland because my parents didn't approve of them, my twin brother Matt is in jail for murdering my parents, and my little sister Shelby got murdered. I'm still trying to find out who killed her.

I started lying after my sister died and it became a way for me to cope with people trying to form an attachment with me. I push people away with all the lying I do. Despite that, I still had friends.

How did I become such a whore? I don't really remember but it happened anyway. It's not like I have STDs, I got regular check-ups to make sure that I don't get any.

To be honest, though, I'm pretty sure I slept with everyone in South Park. Yeah, I'm worse than Cartman's mom and Kenny (Although he stopped whoring himself out when he started dating Leo...) Besides, I lost my virginity when I was 9 so really I had nothing to lose.

I found out that I had a crush on Stan when we hit high school. Not that I could really do anything about it because he was still dating Testaburger who was cheating on him with Bebe who was dating Clyde at the time.

So I started going out with a guy named Matt. I dated this guy because his name is the same as my twin and he has black hair. In fact, most of my ex-boyfriends had black hair. I dated girls too and all of them had brown eyes.

I guess there's a bit of a pattern here, right?

I also started talking to people more. The look of pure shock on Stan's face when he heard my voice for the first time.

In fact, everyone who hasn't heard my voice was shocked when I talked. Craig was just surprised that I even talked at all.

Then Stan broke up with Wendy, just so he could ask Kyle out. Kyle had rejected him because he was dating Cartman. Heh, I guess some people owe me 50 bucks.

The real surprise was that Stan had asked me out our senior year. I was surprised and skeptical. I told him that I wasn't going to be a rebound, he told me that I'm not going to be one. I rolled my eyes and told him to pick me up at 8.

Stan was honestly the best boyfriend I've had. Even if I kept on telling him that I wasn't going to be tied down, he told me that he would get me to be tied down. I would tell him that I would divorce him if that did happen and he would reply that he wasn't going to give up on me.

When we came out to Stan's family about us dating, Randy was all red like the tomatoes I was allergic to, Sharon congratulated us, and Shelly just messed up his hair.

We broke up at the end of high school because we had made an agreement to break up at that time.

We got back together at our high school reunion and we had moved in together into an apartment that I bought.

On the anniversary of the day we broke up in high school, he proposed to me. I had jokingly said no and tried to run away. He caught me before I could even take a step.

"Okay, fine. Yes, I agree to be stuck with you as long as you want me."  
"In that case, I want to be stuck with you forever."

The wedding was amazing. Everyone that we knew in South Park came. It was a non-traditional wedding where everyone got to wear whatever they wanted.

(By the way, look at the cover picture of this chapter to get a general gist of what the wedding attire is. Unless you don't want to.)

I was wearing a short royal blue wedding dress, a pretty long royal blue veil, a blue and white orchid flower crown on my head and white thigh highs. I had no shoes, at all. On my neck is a necklace. A necklace that my sister made me the day before she died. It had 3 kinds of beads; tiny silver beads, pearl-like beads, and light pink rose beads. I was also holding a bouquet of succulents and gloriosa lilies. What? I know my flowers.

Stan was wearing a red tuxedo with some black details and a black bowtie, his usual hat, and a pair of black converse. When he saw me, he looked teary-eyed and nauseous. I saw Kyle take out a paper bag and gave it to Stan.

We recited our vows and went off to my old house before we went to our honeymoon the day after the wedding and completely defiled the attic. Best. Day. Ever.

After the honeymoon, I found out that I was pregnant. Okay, here's an explanation about that. I was born a girl and throughout my life, I had a feeling at the back of my mind that I wasn't exactly a girl but it wasn't really that prominent until I was dragged into the attic by my parents. The worse part about that was that the second time it happened, they made my twin brother join them.

That was when my alters Rick and Renee became a part of my mind. A few people know about them. Stan doesn't know anything about my past. In fact, I was planning on telling him everything when I find who killed my sister.

Besides that secret, we were happy. Of course, we fought, it's normal for married couples to fight at times but we were still happy.

\------------------------------------------------------

I smiled, the good old days always cheered me up.

As I was cleaning up, I saw all of the alcohol bottles that Stan didn't drink yet.

I called Staley and asked him to come back home and to bring his friends over.

"Why, mom?", he asked me over the phone.

"I'm getting rid of all the alcohol in the house and I need help getting it out."

I never heard him hang up the phone so fast in my life until today.

I sighed, was this really the right choice for me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So (community) college is a thing in my life that I might be busy with so yeah...


	25. Mr. Brightside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley might divorce Stan! Craig and Tweek finally confront Riley about you-know-what! (spoiler, it's what they forgot a long time ago)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, it's been a while 😅

(Staley's Point Of View)

After my mom called me while I was at Crenny's house, I was ecstatic. Finally! My mom's going to divorce that drunk asshole that I have to call my father.

Mom wouldn't have to go to the liquor store at an ungodly time in the morning and he wouldn't look so sad all the time! He and my sister Creek wouldn't end up being bruised. Well, she's my god-sister technically but I don't really believe in that kind of thing.

I've been asking my mom to divorce that guy ever since preschool but he told me to wait until the guy was sober.

I told Creek about what my mom asked me to do. She ran all the way down to the basement while I followed. Not only is Creek the school prankster, but she's also the fastest kid in South Park. No one can outrun her. No one.

Everyone else was already at mom's house when they heard me talking to Creek.

[DAMN NIMBLEGOSLING, BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE PROTAG'S POINT OF VIEW?]

I was on my couch in the basement playing Miitopia on my Nintendo 3DS when Creek barged in. I raised my eyebrow, I thought she and Staley were hanging out with everyone else.

The reason why I'm not hanging out with everyone upstairs is that I have to make sure that Cartman doesn't come into the basement. Everyone understands that. But just in case Cartman steps one foot into the basement, I have blackmail on him.

Anyway, I asked Creek, "Why did you come down here? I mean you can come down here but, you know? Why?"

"Mr. Allister called. He wants all of us to help him get rid of all the alcohol in his house."

I quickly saved my game and jumped off the couch. "I'll help.", I answered and I was dragged all the way to the Marsh-Allister house.

'Is Mr. Allister really going to go through with this divorce?'

\------------------------------------------------------

When we got to the Marsh-Allister house, everyone was already carrying boxes full of alcohol bottles and Mr. Allister was on his phone, texting someone. I wonder who it is. We came in and helped carry some more boxes. I was carrying an enormous box that no one else could carry. Oh, don't worry about me, I'm pretty strong for my age so this is just light work for me.

When everyone was carrying boxes outside, I saw a sad look on Mr. Allister's face. I really hope that Mr. Allister would make the right choice for himself.

\------------------------------------------------------

(Craig's Point Of View)

I was going through my email when Riley texted me.  
________________________________

My Therapist 🖕: Can you come over? I need help with getting rid of all the alcohol in the house.

Me: Marsh coming back to South Park?

My Therapist 🖕: Yeah, tomorrow.

Me: Do you need the truck?

My Therapist 🖕: As helpful as that would be, no I don't. I just need you guys to come over.  
________________________________

Tweek was reading these over my shoulder. "GAH! D...doesn't Riley usually call you when he needs help?" Tweek's right, that guy usually does call me when he needs help with something. Why the hell would he text me?  
________________________________

Me: Okay, what's wrong?

My Therapist 🖕: Nothing's wrong.  
My Therapist 🖕: I just don't want Creek to know that I contacted you.  
________________________________

The homeless kid was at his house? Before Tweek and I could get out of the house, Riley texted me.  
________________________________

My Therapist 🖕: By the way, go through the backyard. You know where the key is.  
________________________________

When Tweek and I got there, I found the key to the backyard and opened the door to it.

We got inside the house and saw Riley sitting on his couch. "You want to know what happened 9 years ago?", he asked. "You already know the answer to that, Riley.", I replied.

"Alright, let's start from the very beginning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry for that cliff hanger.


	26. Dead and Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE INSIGHT INTO MY NEW KIDS HEAD!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter is why THIS is my first fanfiction. It's cringe AF now that I'm reading it again.

(Riley's Point Of View)

[9 YEARS AGO]

_It was a quiet day in South Park. The snow was in icy clunks and almost piss yellow in color. It was surprisingly quiet for once. It seemed too good to be true and then my phone started ringing._

_I picked it up. I saw the contact that I put in for Tweek, 'What Kind Of Drug Is Tweek Tweak?'. I answered the call and all I heard was screaming. I knew it was too good to be true._

_"Tweek. What happened?"_

** _"CraigturnedintoagirlandIdon'tknowwhattodo!"_ **

_"Breathe, Tweek. Say that again but slowly."_

_I heard a breathing noise and then, _ ** _"Okay. Craig turned into a girl and I don't know what to do."_ **

_"How did Craig turn into a girl?"_

** _"Well..."_ **

[FLASHBACK]

(Tweek's Point Of View)

** _I was cleaning up the coffee shop. Craig was waiting for me to finish up. That's when Cartman and Kyle came into the coffee shop._ **

** _Cartman ordered some coffee, I gave it to him and he paid for it. I saw him put something small in it and he gave it to Kyle. Kyle gave it to Craig because he didn't trust anything that Cartman gave him._ **

** _An hour after Craig drank that coffee, he looked different. In fact, he looked like a girl!_ **

** _He- I mean, she still had short hair except it was a bit longer and fluffier and was a lot skinnier than when she was a boy. Her anatomy definitely changed._ **

** _The worst part was that Cartman said that it lasts for 10 months. 10. Fucking. Months! How are we going to handle that?!_ **

** _Oh, wait! There's Riley, he would know what to do! I mean, he's helped everyone in South Park with their problems even if he doesn't really understand them and so, I took out my phone._ **

**_I scrolled down until I found my contact for him; 'My Therapist Likes Cold Brews _**☕️**_'._**

** _Then I called him. I really hope he picks up._ **

_[END OF FLASHBACK]_

_(Riley's Point Of View)_

** _"Yeah, that's what happened."_ ** _, Tweek said after he told me what happened._

_I sighed and said, "You just make sure that Craig isn't freaking out in any way."_

_We continued talking until Tweek had to hang up on me._

_[AFTER TWEEK AND CRAIG'S 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY]_

_I got a call from Craig who is known as 'Craigory Fucker _🖕_' on my phone._

_"Craig, it's 3 in the godamn morning. What do you want?"_

** _"Okay, so I ended up getting pregnant."_ **

_There was a silence in the room. I responded as excited as a tired person could manage, "I knew you were a bottom.", and I hung up and went back to sleep._

_When it was light outside, I looked at my phone and saw an unread text from Tweek,_  
________________________________

**_What Kind Of Drug Is Tweek Tweak?: THE FREAKING CONDOM BROKE!_**  
________________________________

[9 MONTHS LATER]

_I was in the hospital waiting room, waiting for the whole birthing process to be done. While I was waiting, I heard the sound of bones breaking and monotone screaming. I sighed, what did I sign up for exactly?_

_When I saw Creek for the first time, I was surprised. That little girl didn't cry at all. In fact, almost everyone thought she died until she opened her eyes that were the same blue as her dad's._

_The most shocking part of the whole day was when Craig and Tweek asked me to be their kid's godfather. I was internally crying tears of joy when I agreed._

_When Creek was 4, that's when things went downhill. She got kidnapped by Cartman and thrown into Starks Pond. I was taking a walk to clear my head from all of Stan's drunken shouting when I saw her drowning. I dived into the water and saved her._

_I took her home, only to hear Cartman tell her parents that some passing terrorists going to Denver had murdered her. Later, they proceeded to drink until they blacked out._

_I took her to my house where she got punched by Stan just to protect me. I felt so bad but she told me that it was fine._

_The next day, Tweek and Craig didn't even recognize her._

[BACK TO THE PRESENT]

After I told them that story, Tweek started crying. Craig and I then proceeded to try to calm him down.

[CRENNY'S POINT OF VIEW IS BACK!]

After everyone was done with getting all the alcohol outside, they helped Creek carry it to her box near the train tracks. I think she's planning to sell it to the hobos that live in that area.

While everyone was doing that, I entered the house when I saw Mr. Allister and the monotone Mr. Tweak trying to calm down the anxious Mr. Tweak. I cleared my throat and they all looked at me. I don't say anything, I just went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea for the Tweaks.

After I made the tea, I gave it to them. It was silent for a while until Mr. Allister asked me, "Where's Creek?".

I replied, "She's moving the alcohol to her box right now."

After I said that, I went into the kitchen again and made myself a cup of tea. But not before telling Mr. Allister, "Listen to yourself, do you really want to divorce Mr. Marsh? I know you told Staley that you would, but do you really want to, Mr. Allister?"

(Creek's Point Of View)

After I moved the alcohol to my box, I went back to Mr. Allister's house. When I entered the house, I saw my parents.

Then I ran. I don't care where I ran, I just ran. I ran as far away from my parents as I could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's a cliffhanger.


	27. Runnin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Creek's gone! Well, technically she's not gone from this story. She's just gone from South Park. In this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just the beginning of my attempt at 'best friend conflict', spoiler warning, it's not that good.

[STILL CREEK'S POINT OF VIEW]

I just kept running until my feet dropped down. I was so tired. I dragged myself to a nearby tree and sighed. I knew Mr. Allister would tell my parents about what happened 9 years ago eventually. 

Although, I know that everyone I know was probably worried about me. I feel asleep after thinking about running to my box tomorrow morning.

\------------------------------------------------------

Date: 9/23

When I woke up, I ran to my box just in case my parents decided to follow me.

I knew that I couldn't go back to South Park without my parents seeing me. Hmm, maybe I could be on the run for a while. Yeah, that could work.

Throughout the day, I sold alcohol, drugs, and other illegal stuff to the hobos. Now that I didn't go to school, I could make sure that the hobos actually pay their rent and because business was booming, I got enough money to get myself an old phone from one of the hobos and I started to order online. So far, I got a coffee machine and a mug that had a middle finger pattern all over it.

Of course, I had to move around a lot because my parents actually trying to find me.

\------------------------------------------------------

Date: 9/30

As I was making myself a cup of coffee, I wondered how everyone was probably doing right now.

Are they trying to find me?

When they finally found me, what would they say to me?

Would they tell me to come back and live with my parents or would they hate me?

But most of all, I wonder how Crenny's doing?

In fact, I was tempted to come back just to see how she was but I didn't want to be found by my parents so I didn't. To be honest, I don't expect to be forgiven for leaving her alone for a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another cliffhanger!


	28. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I might have gotten a LOT carried away with writing my new kid...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *see chapter summary above for context*

Date: 9/24

(Riley's Point Of View)

Today's the day Stan gets out of rehab. I know that problems don't solve themselves quickly. That doesn't stop me from hoping.

Yesterday I told Craig and Tweek what happened 9 years ago and Creek ran off when she saw them.

The fascinating part about yesterday was when Claire Broflovski asked me about divorcing Stan. She had asked me, _"Listen to yourself. Do you really want to divorce Mr. Marsh? I know Staley asked you to but do you really want to, Mr. Allister?"_

How is it that she knew about my feelings and not my own son? I thought about that question for a while. I knew that I promised Staley that I would do it but was it really what I wanted?

Then I heard a knock at the door. I answered the door and saw Stan on the other side.

He let himself into the house and sat on the couch.

"_Where's the godamn alcohol?_", he said while slurring his words. '_He's drunk again._' I thought. "I got rid of it," I replied.

He started cursing me out while I just listened to him until he fell asleep. I carried him to the bed and fell asleep on the couch.

\------------------------------------------------------

Date: 9/25

(Stan's Point Of View)

Oh god, my head fucking hurts. How long have I been out? Jesus fucking hell.

I look at the nightstand. I see a glass of milk and a veggie filled omelet. I also see a note: **_'Vitamin B6 is a good hangover cure, it may not cure it completely but it'll help. - Riley.'_**

I smiled, I enjoy eating Riley's cooking.

After I finished eating, I went out to the living room where I saw Riley scrolling through Tumblr. When he saw me, he put down his phone and patted a spot that was right next to him.

"Riley," I asked, "how long have I been out for?"

"...20 years."

I was surprised, 20 years? How come I haven't died of alcohol poisoning yet?

"I know, I'm surprised too."

"What did I do while I was drunk?"

He was quiet for a bit. He sighed and was about to tell me when a little boy with pastel purple hair came into the room.

(Staley's Point Of View)

I can't believe that Mom made that drunkard a hangover breakfast. Oh well, at least they're getting divorced.

I walked to the living room to ask my Mom if I could go outside to find Creek when I heard him ask Mom what he did when he was drunk.

"What did you do? What did you fucking do to Mom when you were drunk?!", I yelled. "What didn't you do? You would make Mom wake way too early in the morning to buy you more alcohol! You'd beat him and my sister Creek up!"

"Staley...", I heard my mom say.

"Not to mention the fact that you weren't there when Mom was in the hospital giving birth to me! Mom had to hold Uncle Craig's hand!"

"_Staley_.", he urged.

I didn't listen, "In fact, you almost raped him one time!"

"**_Riley Staley Marsh-Allister!_**", my mom shouted. That shut me up. I looked at my mom who said, "What did you want to ask me?"

I was surprised. I thought he was going to send me to my room. But I replied, "I was wondering if I could go outside to try to find Creek?" He nodded and I went off. I wondered if mom was going to be okay all alone with that guy.

(Stan's Point Of View)

"Is that our kid?"

"Yup. He's just as stubborn as I am."

We didn't say anything for a long time until I asked, "Was all of that true?"

Riley nodded and it all came crashing down on me.

"Why didn't you just leave? You've always said that you would divorce me if I did something awful to you."

"I had to wait until you were sober.", he replied.

"Well, I'm sober right now."

It was silent for a while until Riley said, "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, Staley's been asking me to divorce you for a while now."

"And what have you decided?", He was quiet for a while. He got up and walked to a room in the house.

When he came back, I saw the divorce papers in his hand.

"I can't forgive you yet but I'll give this another shot. Provided that you make it up to me."

I answered earnestly, "Yeah, I will make it up to you."

He smirked and went to get our paper shredder. Well, I know where those divorce papers are going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do people still read this?


End file.
